Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
