So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
