Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
