good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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