i would punch a child for taco bell
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
