Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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