If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize