So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
