The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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