Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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