She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Hippo gnu deer
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
