No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
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