all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
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He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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