ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
and you fell through a lawn chair
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
