I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
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Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
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jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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