he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
