He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
