I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
