it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Randomize
