You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
