Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
