we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize