Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Drunk walkin through police station. America
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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