Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
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i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
you will always have a special place in my vag
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
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Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
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