Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
hell yes lets make some ravioli
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
