used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize