Got a toothbrush?
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
