If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
