turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
