To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
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There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
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if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
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