I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
