I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
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