You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
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