The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
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