Is it normal to miss your booty call?
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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