overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Randomize