You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Randomize
