He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
