I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
You smell like stripper and shame
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
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