YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
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I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Just puked most of my soul out..
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