I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
