Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I know her cup size but not her name....
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
