I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
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