is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize