Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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