It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
