is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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