Acid is not a monday night drug
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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