Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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