you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
