alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize
