Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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