It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
